The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, that site we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

When problems arise, find those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure visit this website when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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